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last night’s Dancing with the Stars snoozefest

retroDan — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 18:02:08 +0000

Last night’s Dancing with the Stars results show proved to us all once again their uncanny ability to stretch what could have been done in five minutes, into a full hour. man, that was painful. viewers had to wait what seemed like eternity to simply confirm the obvious choices for the finale – Donny, Mya and Kelly. And in my opinion, Mya is going to take the trophy home … unless Donny’s faithful fans push him over the top in the end.

Other than getting to the final three, there really wasn’t much else. Obviously there was a bunch of time to fill so they had three musical acts and a dance showcase for the upcoming film Nine.

Alicia Keys screeched her way through her new song “Try sleeping With A Broken Heart”. and then Leona Lewis lip-synced to her new song “Happy” which was a bit of a disappointment since she actually has a great singing voice.

and just when I thought the show couldn’t get any worse, they trot out the two remaining Gibb Brothers to perform “You Should be Dancing”:

yikes! They should simply outlaw anyone over 60 from singing disco music in high falsetto!! it’s definitely hazardous to the ears!

But on the other hand, it was nice to see Cheryl Burke and Chelsie Hightower on the show dancing again. They’re both a treat for the eyes.

as a matter of fact, if it were me, I’d rather watch Chelsie, Cheryl, Lacey Schwimmer and Edyta Sliwinska in those skimpy outfits for an hour and be done with it.

Kenny Mayne, Len Goodman and Jerry Rice on Dance Center

retroDan — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 15:47:37 +0000

Kudos to the writers of Dancing with the Stars for bringing on the funny in the Dance Center segment on last night’s results show. The twisted take on ESPN’s SportsCenter featured Kenny Mayne and Jerry Rice, who were both former contestants of the show. Judge Len Goodman was also there to help out with the commentary.

The running gag on shoe sizes was hilarious along with some good natured ribbing of the current contestants:
Joanna Krupa – laughs like a seal
Donny Osmond – “acts like a three year old on sugar”
Aaron Carter – “has the lowest pain threshold of any man I’ve ever seen in my life”
Kelly Osborne – “she’s got a cute accent but she swears like a trucker”
Mya – “needs counseling, got anger problems”

And thank goodness Aaron Carter and Karina Smirnoff are finally off the show. their on-screen antics definitely got on my nerves this season.

At this point it looks like the highly sought after DWTS trophy will be going to either Donny Osmond or Joanna Krupa. at least in my opinion anyway. stay tuned…

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Taylor Swift on Dancing with the Stars

retroDan — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 00:36:58 +0000

Let me start by saying that I like Taylor Swift. She’s cute, she’s young and she’s got a great sense of humor. But I’m sorry, the girl can’t sing live. It’s pretty obvious she needs a team of producers, studio engineers and pro-tools experts to help keep her vocals in-tune. Check out her appearance from last night’s Dancing With the Stars. ouch. I personally recommend turning down the volume while watching this.

hopefully her upcoming hosting gig with Saturday Night Live will showcase more of her comedic ability than her singing ability (or lack thereof).

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DWTS Season 8 Finale – Shawn and Mark – Roast

retroDan — Wed, 20 May 2009 12:28:02 +0000

I don’t know about you but I’m a bit tired of networks stretching the season finale shows to two hours. C’mon, sitting through nearly two hours worth of recaps and rehashes to simply find out who the DWTS Season 8 champs are, was a bit painful.

So, as I had mentioned yesterday, Shawn and Mark did indeed win the competition. But it was definitely close. Apparently there was only 1% difference in viewer votes between the two final couples. I think the outcome might have been different if Cheryl and Gilles had done something other than that awfully dated “Flashdance” routine.

There were several awkward moments during the live telecast including some off-color jokes by Lawrence Taylor and Steve Wozniak forgetting how to do “the worm”. But the ultimate “cringe-fest” occurred during “The Roast” segment done by Jeffrey Ross. It’s definitely tame compared to a real Roast but still the harsh jokes make ya squirm just the same. heh.

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and just in case you couldn’t sit through the whole two hour finale, here’s the video clip announcing the winner…

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DWTS – Shawn Johnson and Mark Ballas – Freestyle

retroDan — Tue, 19 May 2009 13:51:13 +0000

It’s now down to three celebs on Dancing with the Stars – Shawn Johnson, Melissa Rycroft and Gilles Marini. All three are very capable dancers and have been consistently at or near the very top of the judges’ leaderboard each and every week. I wasn’t really sure who to root for up until I saw the freestyle segment last night. I have to say Shawn Johnson and Mark Ballas’ freestyle was an absolute joy to watch. Their dance featured intricate moves, high energy and fast technique that blew away the other two couples in the competition. Of course it’s ultimately up to the voters to crown the winner but if it were up to me, I’d pick Shawn.

Be sure to watch the season finale tonight at 9pm on ABC.

Julianne Hough

retroDan — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 21:10:06 +0000

who can blame Julianne Hough for taking advantage of the built-in audience she garnered from her stint on ABC’s Dancing with the Stars? releasing a new pop-country album is probably a wise business move on her part. since it has nothing to do with dancing, I’m sure ABC and the producers of DWTS don’t have any complaints about it. and thanks to her fan base from the show, the album debuted in the top 5 on Billboard’s Top album chart. but her “TV celeb” status can only take you so far. does the album deliver the goods? unfortunately, I’d have to say no. Julianne Hough is completely likeable and she obviously got the looks but her voice is pretty one-dimensional. Hough doesn’t have the vocal chops to pull listeners in and keep ‘em interested for 40 minutes. to compound the problem, the material is second-rate. the songs are just typical stuff that gets cranked out by the Nashville songwriting mill. they’re probably leftovers that Carrie Underwood, Faith Hill and the like passed on. since she’s on tour the whole summer opening for Brad Paisley, maybe she’ll get to work on those vocal chops. so who knows, maybe with some better material, her follow-up effort might be more interesting…

Julianne Hough TrackList:
1 That Song in My Head (Collins, Martin, Mobley) 3:13
2 You, You, You (Ferrell, Hicks) 3:45
3 Hide Your Matches (Carusoe, Lindsey) 3:40
4 My Hallelujah Song (McEwan, Wiseman) 3:30
5 Jimmy Ray McGee (Frasier, Kear) 3:31
6 Dreaming Under the Same Moon (Johnson, Malloy, Poole) 3:58
7 About Life (Andrews, Rosen, Rosen) 3:17
8 Hello (Dodson, Howard, Shapiro) 3:10
9 Help Me, Help You (Gravitt, Green) 4:01
10 Love Yourself (Irwin, Kear, Malloy) 3:02
11 I’d Just Be with You (Kennedy, Stople) 3:31

Watch Julianne Hough perform That Song In My Head live on ABC’s The View:

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Def Leppard on DWTS

retroDan — Thu, 01 May 2008 00:13:01 +0000

holy crap. this was so wrong on so many levels. where to begin? let me back up a bit. Def Leppard made an appearance last night on ABC’s Dancing with the Stars results show. yes, I understand that the show’s got a lock on millions of viewers each and every week. I, myself watch the show for the generous display of ummm… talent. and from a marketing standpoint, a DWTS appearance is highly desirable. But come on, a rock and roll band on a ballroom dancing show???? don’t they have ANY integrity left? the appearance just reeked of desperation. it wasn’t pleasant. OK, OK, this was probably some sort of corporate decision from the higher ups but still- the band could have taken the opportunity to remind the general viewing audience that they can STILL ROCK. unfortunately, Def Leppard took the easy way out and lip synced to “Pour Some Sugar on Me” and their new single, “Nine Lives” (from their new album – Songs From The Sparkle Lounge). that’s right children. these old rockers mimed to their studio tracks. and very poorly, I might add. the performance was truly lame. I suppose the purpose of the appearance was to gain fans and sell tickets to their summer shows but I think they actually lost a whole bunch of fans by doing this. I know they lost this one right here.

view Def Leppard’s subpar performance of Pour Some Sugar on Me [via youtube]:

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here’s Def Leppard lip syncing to Nine Lives [via youtube]:

random thoughts on DWTS

retroDan — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 22:01:48 +0000

here are just some random nothings about last night’s Dancing with the Stars

- did anyone catch the Jonas Brothers on DWTS last night? holy crap. can someone explain to me why these little kids are so popular right now? they absolutely CAN NOT sing! man, my ears are still hurting from watching their performance last night. it was painful. see for yourself: last night’s skin crawling version of A-Ha’s Take on Me. God. so. lame. and here’s the second song of the night – When You Look Me in the Eyes. ouch. why didn’t Disney just use the infamous “Autotune” on the boys’ vocals like they do on all those other teenie-bopper groups? oh sorry, apparently Miley Cyrus got dibs on the Autotune for her own shows.

- can someone just stop Adam Corolla from talking? please. he’s absolutely annoying. now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that he needs to leave the show because THAT would mean no screen time for Julianne Hough. and not being able to watch Julianne Hough do her thing in those lovely outfits would be an absolute tragedy.

- did anyone notice the contrast between Kristi Yamaguchi’s pasty white skin last week and her nicely tanned body this week? obviously she has succumbed to the ubiquitous (at least on the show) spray-on tan. fortunately, she looks a lot better with the tan. let’s just see if Priscilla Presley gives in to the spray-on tan next week! but can they do anything for her botoxed face?

- I laughed so hard when, for the second week in a row, Samantha Harris put the microphone to Marlee Matlin’s face even though Marlee was signing with her hands. I so dislike Samantha Harris.

- as for the ones that got the boot – tennis champ Monica Seles was a given since her personality didn’t really translate that well on camera. she had that “Celine Dion”-vibe that just wasn’t happenin’. but it was a bit surprising to see Penn Jillette go. I was so sure Steve Guttenberg was going to be the first to hit the road.